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Are you in love--or addicted? How to know when to call it quits...and how to find the courage to call it quits.
Are you unable to leave a love relationship even though it gives you more pain than joy? Your judgment and self-respect tell you to end it, but still, to your dismay, you hang on. You are addicted--to a person. Now there is an insightful, step-by-step guide to breaking that addiction--and surviving the split. Drawing on dozens of provocative case histories, psychotherapist Howard Helpern explains to you:
Why you can get addicted to a person.
Why and how you may try to deceive yourself. ("He really loves me, he just doesn't know how to show it.")
How you can recognize the symptoms of a bad relationship.
How to deal with the power moves and guilt trips your partner uses to hold you.
Why strong feelings of jealousy do not mean you are "in love."
How to get through the agonizing breakup period--without going back.
How not to get caught in such a painful relationship again.
From the Paperback edition.
- Sales Rank: #21315 in Books
- Brand: Bantam
- Published on: 2003-12-30
- Released on: 2003-12-30
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.30" h x .60" w x 5.20" l, .46 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 272 pages
- Bantam
From the Publisher
Are you in love--or addicted? How to know when to call it quits...and how to find the courage to call it quits.
Are you unable to leave a love relationship even though it gives you more pain than joy? Your judgment and self-respect tell you to end it, but still, to your dismay, you hang on. You are addicted--to a person. Now there is an insightful, step-by-step guide to breaking that addiction--and surviving the split. Drawing on dozens of provocative case histories, psychotherapist Howard Helpern explains to you:
Why you can get addicted to a person.
Why and how you may try to deceive yourself. ("He really loves me, he just doesn't know how to show it.")
How you can recognize the symptoms of a bad relationship.
How to deal with the power moves and guilt trips your partner uses to hold you.
Why strong feelings of jealousy do not mean you are "in love."
How to get through the agonizing breakup period--without going back.
How not to get caught in such a painful relationship again.
From the Inside Flap
Are you in love--or addicted? How to know when to call it quits...and how to find the courage to call it quits.
Are you unable to leave a love relationship even though it gives you more pain than joy? Your judgment and self-respect tell you to end it, but still, to your dismay, you hang on. You are addicted--to a person. Now there is an insightful, step-by-step guide to breaking that addiction--and surviving the split. Drawing on dozens of provocative case histories, psychotherapist Howard Helpern explains to you:
Why you can get addicted to a person.
Why and how you may try to deceive yourself. ("He really loves me, he just doesn't know how to show it.")
How you can recognize the symptoms of a bad relationship.
How to deal with the power moves and guilt trips your partner uses to hold you.
Why strong feelings of jealousy do not mean you are "in love."
How to get through the agonizing breakup period--without going back.
How not to get caught in such a painful relationship again.
"From the Paperback edition.
About the Author
Howard M. Halpern received his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from Columbia University in 1954. He taught at Columbia and other colleges and has been a consultant, clinical psychologist, and psychotherapist at several New York colleges and clinics. He was the codirector of the New York Student Consultation Center and is a past president of the American Academy of Psychotherapists.
Dr. Halpern has practiced psychotherapy in New York City for forty-eight years. His previous books include Cutting Loose: An Adult Guide to Coming to Terms with Your Parents and Finally Getting It Right. He also wrote a nationally syndicated newspaper column called "On Your Own". His appearances on national media include Donahue, The Today Show, 20/20, and CNN.
Most helpful customer reviews
23 of 24 people found the following review helpful.
Great Read
By Matthew F. Kahn
This is a good book. I am embarrassed I even needed it, but I did. I was in a 12 year relationship in which we were co-dependent on one another. We loved each other but it wasn't a healthy romantic relationship. More of great friendship with benefits with a lot of co-dependencies. So, this book helped me heal after she dumped me. I was devastated as this was my first love, my girl from high school all the way to age 28. And this book, probably single handedly....helped me heal. The other self help books rarely touch on co-dependency and I see that this is a common problem for people as many people are afraid to be alone. This book will help you realize that its better to be alone than settling for relationship that is unhealthy or unfulfilling.
Great read and thank you to the author for helping me fix one very big problem. Now when a relationship ends I don't suffer as much as did before I discovered this book. This may be the most important book I have ever read. Not the simplest read but very, very important and again touches on issues most self help books ignore. Highest possible recommendation. If you feel you are settling, you probably are. Read this book, study it, take notes....then make a change when you build enough courage. Better to be alone than settle. Trust me, because the right guy or gal is out there and you can't find them if you are in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship to avoid being alone. And honestly, being in a codependent relationship is lonelier than be lonely alone. Think about it.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Break away for good...
By Sixtus
This is a great book to help in understanding dysfunctional relationships, especially of the type when you cannot understand why you are still with/keep going back to a certain person that is a negative influence in your life. I learned a lot about myself and unmet childhood needs that seem to rear their head in my relationships. Very helpful at cutting that negative tie for good and keeping yourself grounded to move on to something better.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Great strategies
By Marsha Jauregui
It has great insight and different strategies to move on with your life in a healthy way. I held on to relationships even when they were killing my spirit only to feel loved, in which I wasn't and this opens the ideas of why that is. My parents weren't abusive, never hit me, nor call me names, but they surely never showed me what real healthy relationship is. They had major issues within themselves and together and I'm trying to find the puzzle pieces together so I can heal.
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